I recently started thinking about that book "Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference?" by Philip Yancey, which I read last fall. I went through a phase last year of praying desperately and really seeking to be close to God. Over time I have ended up not praying nearly as much as I know I should or want to again. It seems to be an endless cycle in life!
I was talking about prayer with my friend Sara this morning. She and her husband are trying to discern whether they will stay here or move away for his work. She said that neither option is clearly the right one and they haven't heard a clap of thunder or anything to guide them in their decision. They have prayed a lot about it, but still aren't sure, at this point. I feel like it is that way most of the time in our lives. Usually there isn't a clear sign which way we should go.
I have been praying about a particular situation I have been dealing with, and I know what I want and I am asking for it (but like I said, I haven't prayed as much as I think I should be though), but I don't know if this is really what is good for me or not. Certain prayers regarding this situation I feel have been answered, and I am thankful. I know certain things in life just take time, and we can't always expect a quick answer or solution, but where do we draw the line and just give up or give in? What if we want to give up and we can't? I have prayed for God's will to be done, and if what I want isn't right for me, then I want that desire go away....but it hasn't yet. It's a hard thing to balance the petitioning-type prayers, and trying to submit to what God wants. Can I do both? Fortunately, I do believe that God is big enough and gracious enough to handle my confusion and emotions. I can pray anything and everything, even if it contradicts itself. I think the main thing is that I am communicating with God and having a relationship with God. Hopefully, as time goes on, things will become more clear.
2 comments:
Heidi,
I don't presume to have the answers to God-sized questions. However, I will reflect some truths that resonate with your questions.
"I beg you... to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Do not search for the answers, which could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."
~ Rainer Maria Rilke
"Do whatever it takes. You can't fail if you never give up."
~ Stephen, The Last Kiss
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
~ James 1:2-8,12
I hope you enjoyed our quaint little American holiday centered around pyromania and blowing things up... As I recall, there is some deeper meaning to Independence Day, but it frequently escapes me amidst the smoke and fireworks. I also hope you got the chance to celebrate Canada Day... Any traditions there?
All I am and will become in Him,
Steve
Canada just has fireworks and barbeques too!
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